Austin Spiritual Guidance: Sacred Sexuality, Sacred Relationship And More

How About We Start With Anger…

Anger? Why Anger?!

Well, for one, if you and your relationship are not freely flowing positive energy, more often than
not, unpleasant emotions are lingering, hiding. Sometimes lots of them.

"The number one predictor of divorce is the habitual avoidance of conflict," says Diane Sollee.
I'd agree that avoidance is a major cause of turmoil. So, in heading toward intimacy -- real intimacy
and deep intimacy -- and joy (not pseudo joy), I see a need to increase awareness and ask good
questions. Some, for starters, might be: What’s really in your heart?...Are you bubbly and jubilant?
... Is what you're showing a mask? After asking your questions, listen for your answer(s). If they're,
"Not happy", ask more questions. For instance, "What else is in my heart?" If you're an avoider, an
answer may not surface, you may get just a blank, but if one does, odds are one of your answers will
be "Anger."

If you've read this far, I'm assuming you've gotten at least a feeling that there's something like anger lurking
at that it's something you're interested in looking at. And, so, since you're still "with me", I want to give anger
an uplifting definition in our move forward:

Anger is energy--energy that is generated when there is a discrepancy between what we want
and what we are experiencing.

Anger is just one of the many emotions we can feel (not a lesser one, just one of many). I've chosen anger
for this piece precisely because it’s one of the primary ones we think we really shouldn’t feel, which shouldn't
be shown, and because it's one which is usually rather misused and so "no wonder" we avoid it. But by
avoiding it we can't learn from it and we can't transform it. To transform ourselves for the creation of true
and rewarding intimacy, we'll need to embrace a key component of Sacred Sexual and Sacred Relationship
teachings: in the words of Dr. Susan Campbell, strong contact, not fluff, is needed for intimacy.

Because we put up such a resistance to the feeling and expression of authentic anger, it can be quite
freeing to finally accept it as a part of us that can create good. This liberating concept can loose lots of
positive energy -- for use anywhere. Remember that super effective people use their emotional energy for,
not against, themselves.

The following is a paraphrase of a simple and beautiful way of looking at anger that came from a coach,
Michael Foster, who works with the expression of anger. I found it to be very in line with what I've
experienced in my life; so, I'm sharing his concept with you.

Anger comes in two forms: corrosive and authentic.

Corrosive anger’s purpose is to turn the energy of anger into something worse.

Authentic anger’s purpose is to turn the energy of anger into something better.

I'm betting he'd say that stifled authentic anger tends to convert to corrosive anger. It's a pattern I've seen,
and to reverse the pattern, as was said above, we must become more self-aware. The sooner we can see
that we're angry, the sooner we can do something good with it.

If you want to be authentic in the most positive of ways, I’ll show you how you can make this happen.
It takes practice even though the concept is simple. Old habits take effort to break. But proper insight
(which I'll give you as we practice because that's the best way to have understanding stick) makes the
process much smoother.

Keep in mind that I'll be helping you with much more than just anger (it's quite obvious that we can't stay
in anger and have rich and rewarding lives)... When you've decided that you want all of your emotions to be
authentic, lively, loving and flowing--not as likely to get stuck in a loop--contact me to get started!

And if you want to read more about this topic before, after, during or even instead of obtaining
experiential coaching from me, grab a copy of each of Radical Honesty and Getting Real-10 Truth
Skills You Need to Live an Authentic Life! These books were my first models for the argument
for bare-it-all honesty, and I'll likely mention these titles again at some point; they're that good.
Just note: the longer you practice (years?), the more complex it all becomes...and then the
simpler it all becomes.

Namaste,

Jennifer Errick